again. Tell them again.
The conveyor belt stops and the alarm screams. People rushed, rushed forward and jumped to the right and jumped to the left. Now the smartphone camera lighting is blinking. Then it is surrounded by security personnel.
The woman who speaks is wearing clothes as an airport official. But she is part of a sex ring that fled a few weeks ago in Los Angeles. I just know.
What should I do? Arrest along with her for interrogation? Or run? The guards next to her were armed. They guide me to the low -fat space where injections are produced against my will. Deadly injection.
Consequently The injection was not fatal. And I was actually not an accidental terrorist with a bomb in my bag. Instead, I was a sad woman during a psychotic break.
Despite its prevalence, the charity business estimates that about one out of 100 people will experience lifelong psychosis. Psychosis is still misunderstood. Psychosis, which consists of delusions and hallucinations that follow the theme of persecution and surveillance between patients, is not the same condition as a positive disorder or schizophrenia, but sometimes the symptoms of such a state. Sleep, you can experience it after taking illegal drugs or having a baby. It does not need to have a family history. I suffered an appetite in my teens, but I didn’t.
In my case, it was a response to serious trauma. Dad’s death, a 67 -year -old heart attack, and the police informed him by phone. Funeral directors advised me to see the body “because of corruption.” It was late summer, and he gently rotted at home for several days before his neighbor found him. At the time, I lived in London and went to Yorkshire to prepare the funeral alone and waited for my mom to fly from Brisbane, Australia.
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Suddenly at age 31, I had no British relatives. I was in a unilateral “relationship” with the person who lived in Los Angeles (he would not call it a relationship), and I flew back and forth between them and London and barely supported himself as freelance journalism. In London, I lived alone in a shabby rental flat, but I worked on Sky News and the BBC as a commentator and writer. In Los Angeles, where I do not have a job visa, I lived in the basement not far from Manson’s family where they committed their terrible murder. Sometimes I will see the man, but most of the time I spent a day in the British to beg for his interests while begging for his interests.
I constantly cut off the jet and throw it away, and now I started to solve it.
It started with paranoia about my relationship. Why couldn’t this person use this person because he was secretly looking at other women? I spent several hours to comb and find clues through social media. The trip to Las Vegas was anxious. He was too busy to see most of his time, and I drifted about the Airlies Casino, which was deep in sorrow and rapid doubt. I also started taking strange adderall pills to fight jet delay. Later I heard that adderall did not cause my psychosis. But the drug, which contained amphetamine and forbidden in the UK, was certainly not helpful.
Every morning I woke up with an increasing panic. Cortisol rushed my body. Did you deny this bad relationship? Or did you do more?
As a journalist, I am adjusted to pay attention to inconsistency. Why did he say that? What is too hidden? And of these inconsistencies, I always try to sew the facts together.
In this case, the “fact” is now rolled thick and fast. Travel to NYC with a unique meeting in Empire State Building? You must have been with the mob. Prescription I didn’t know in a man’s bathroom? It must be an anti -retro virus drug. That’s it. So he treats me so terribly. He is actually gay with HIV, and I use me for greater purposes that I haven’t noticed yet.
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I can’t remember the moment I settled because he was a member of the sex gang and tried to conceive me for the ring. But I remember waking up one morning. So I simply took red eyes to London and never came back.
Meanwhile, in London, I was convinced that I was in serious danger. I spent most of my career by talking about men’s sexual corruption and “too much” vulnerable women. I was an expert here.
Instead of doubting the therapist, he went to GP instead, and he listened to my story and said, “I’m scared. I have to go to the police.”
I went to the police. Many times. Finally, I explained again about being a sex ring and a journalist and knowing too much. And I frozen. “Please don’t use it!” I cried. “They’ll kill me!”
The police officer left the pen and said carefully.
“I left the hospital when I arrived.”
Leoni Freeman
In the hospital, when I talked to my doctor, he just provided me with a beta blocker. I refused them because there were so many paranoia, and at that point he was annoyed and I was discharged. I was tired of seeing when I arrived. And the nurses had sympathy for me and let me sleep in my private room until morning. Then I returned to the world, and it was still mental.
A few weeks later, I said that I would be raped in the invited party, and I took the medicine prepared after breakfast. I promised my will for my family and decided to leave England.
And I knew I was pregnant.
I only told one person about abortion. And it was a close friend with me. I rarely talked to my family until this point. Every morning I got up with a new “realization” of the ring. But I was careful not to speak to loved ones about this realization. It will just put them in danger.
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Meanwhile, the mother began to feel something desperately wrong. She called her family friends who were ready to take me from London. But before they gathered me, I booked a plane to Brisbane. I had to make it home.
The 26 -hour travel to Australia will be the most traumatic in my life while the psychosis reaches its peak. At this point, I began to believe that there was a bomb in a travel bag and was planted by prostitutes who could somehow escape. When I realized this, I formally informed the crew of the plane (I’m already worried about my mental health thanks to my worried appearance).
When we landed in Singapore to replace the plane, I approached the assigned medical escort to care for me. She gave me a kind of sedative purification. I missed the connection flight.
After a while, when an employee who knew that I was not very good now found a seat on another flight, I wrote a travel bag on the security conveyor belt next to the gate and screamed.
Somehow, employees were able to take their mother by phone. “Listen, love.
Did I believe her? I didn’t know. But now something has been broken. Our mother-It was a daughter’s ties. So I agreed.
When the plane was ready to land, I had a visual hallucination. I became hysteria. “I want mom!” I kept crying. I was Ecot on the plane and rushed through security. And it was my mother who waited for the other side there. I fell into her arms, both of us cried.
At home, both my mom and my brother heard my delusional story. My brother began to cry quietly. I took it to my mother’s local GP. In the waiting room, I started smelling the body. I looked down. It was me. I was cooking inside. But there was no need to explain to the family.
Then I was called to meet a doctor. After listening to one minute of my story, I did not hesitate to diagnose psychotic rest. I received another injection to calm me. I collapsed and took it to Logan Hospital. There I was for six weeks that I was called in Australia (“vision -based position”).
***
The recovery from psychosis was terrible. In the hospital, I still believed in my extreme theory, and now I was treated as “crazy” for simply talking about the truth. All male patients thought it was a potential rape. But gradually, through the combination of anti -psychosis drugs and treatment, I began to realize some of what I didn’t think. Little by little, every day, I started returning to the “Sane” ego. But now I had a PTSD in my MADCAP adventure, and my body and brain were in fear. Moreover, my visa has fallen. I had no choice but to go back to England.
After the psychotic height is low. I was no longer “angry”, but I was so depressed that I committed suicide, and I had to step down from the tube platform on my way. However, with the help of excellent NHS clinical psychologists, it was better over time.
It was tricky to re -integrate into my life of London. I wanted to explain to the editors and producers who worked for what I have happened, but I thought it was mentally extinguished, and I didn’t think it was no longer a “trusted voice” about what I spent for years to study and write. I also knew that I had an amazing story that I would say, but I still can’t do it for years because I was still triggered and painful.
This month is 10 years since the experience, and it is a permanent change in the relationship with my heart. Nowadays, I get personal treatment and keep a strict sleep schedule without drinking.
Most people consider their minds for granted. But what psychosis taught me is that the boundaries between reality and fantasy are much thinner than most people know.
These days I don’t worry about getting into psychosis again. First of all, I will come back with the symptoms. But what’s more important is what is the fear when you put down the rabbit hole in my heart and get back to my way again?
