good job Advice Column of Slate for Tasks. Is the job problem big? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Dore EHAFRIR. Anonymous!
Dear job,
Last year, my work returned to the office as a part time. We work in relatively small and high -voltage industry (but there is a lot of deadlines, but there is never a stake in life and death) and there is something unexpected through lunch time. Even the simple thing is as simple as taking a walk or eating, and we will talk to the administrator about “focusing on priority.” When I worked at home, I was much better when I had a lunch (and finished all tasks) and had a chance to take time on the laptop. But we have been nearly a year since we were in the office, and we did not find a way to claim a reasonable need for noon breeders.
The ambiguous “no lunch time” rule is that the employer encourages socialism. If we all eat together, time is worse. I really like to like the team that I am on now and have enough things in common with them! The only problem is that some of my colleagues can be very critical of the body image and what others eat. Some people will go around the table every day and mention what others have, it will be, and how much it will affect your weight. It is leading me to Batty! I don’t think these opinions are rude, but I often make it quite stupid and don’t want to eat in front of others. Since our office is a small and open concept, it is unfortunately not an option to do the same thing as reading a book instead of a personal meal at the desk (and instead of replying to an email.
How can you protect your needs when you are in the office without shaking your boat with management? Or is there a recommendation to end your opinion on food/weight and redirect conversation with something else?
-It peaceful and quietly stupid
Dear peace and quiet,
This will make me angry. It is not enough to instruct the employer to be on the desk. Do you also explain how to have lunch? and Do you have to socialize with your colleagues? Hard Pass!
You mentioned that you can have time to have lunch when you work at home. I don’t know how often I can work at home, but can I increase the frequency? Otherwise, I don’t think there Be A definite way to protect a break that does not have a honest conversation with the boss’s way to do the best work. Nevertheless, I think you should deal with food opinions. Even if you are in the office a week, you should not accept this kind of conversation for 20 % of lunch time. Personally, I will not solve this problem before everyone. People are likely to defend if they call in front of the group. Instead, I talk individually with people and explain that you actually value them as a colleague. want To spend lunch with them (like, it’s a little white lies…), all the stories about food and weight are really self -conscious, and you want to stop discussing it.
Last thought: You don’t mention how old you are, but I think it’s worth considering how much the social norms of body images and disorder eating habits have changed for the past 10 or 15 years. People in their 40s or older have grew up in a steady diet of fat mowing and physical formation, and in the past, no one would have turned to the same conversation as you described. Thankfully, the situation has changed! I raise this to encourage you to empathize for your colleagues. You won’t realize that your colleagues are quite terrible. It’s so lucky to know that this kind of conversation is not fine, how lucky it is, and you can gently cut them out to realize it.
Send the question well!
Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir want to help you explore social mechanics at work. Will my colleagues make you a bug after a few hours? Is the work romance wrong without evil? Ask a question here!
Dear job,
I was promoted to work on a small team and manage it. The transition from a colleague to the boss has progressed well. It is now in a position that provides more direct feedback. This may not have been as comfortable as a colleague. One of our team members is the speaker. They will add their tastes, perspectives, stories, or reactions in almost all discussions. The difficult thing is that their add -ons are often helpful or insightful, but they expand their conversations for a longer time than they are crowded or necessary. How do you provide feedback to help you change your behavior while maintaining a common relationship?
-Boss to the boss
To BUD to the boss,
As a person who tends to be more reserved at the meeting, it is disappointing when there is a person who dominates the discussion. For this reason, I prefer meetings led by people who always send agendas and set clear basic rules for the way the meeting progresses. Since it is a new administrator, there is a chance to establish a new guideline for meetings. One of the following is the agenda with a time frame for each item, and the meeting specifies another person to draw discussions on each item. This will help to equal participation and provide a clear idea of being ready to discuss people. At the top of the agenda, “Go back and retreat“Rules: If you have a quiet tendency at the meeting, try” Enhancement “for more participation. If you are more talkative, please reflect the way you participate and tell others to tell others.
Finally, as a meeting promoter, especially if you are used to interruption to prevent interrupt, it is helpful! Of course, it may be diplomatic, but “Thank you, (speaker) -The person has an idea or someone wants to say?” And if this person yet We do not receive a message and do not have personal conversations during the meeting (not during the meeting!). Here you need to know more time to spend the conversation at the meeting because you try to give them a chance to speak to everyone and share their perspectives while we value their contributions.
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Dear job,
As a assistant for almost 20 years, I’ve never been used to picking plugs (I speak emails and letters on all time during day, night and weekends). A year ago, I went to the company for a large company. The job is amazing and the benefits will die. This can be my “eternal job” except for one dazzling problem.
They offer only 10 days of holiday for the first five years. I asked 12 before I started, and they said so, but since then I have been in human resources that 10 is the biggest. So it felt like a bait switch that I didn’t like. Ultimately, salary, stock options and health insurance are complemented for this. Besides, last year, I heard that vacation time is my time and it is not expected to work in the meantime. This is an amazing break in the previous job.
I am replacing the retirement person, and now I have announced that he should check the email during the vacation because he announced the last day. They are very careful about emphasizing that I do not want to work, and they just want to check the email once or twice a day and not urgently. They said that this was for “peace of my own heart.” I can’t help it, but I think it’s a smooth corporate gas lighting and I have to step out of this problem. Especially when you take a break for 10 days a year! All other people at my level have been with the company for over 10 years, so I get 20. They can also work at home whenever they want and work regularly in the desired place. These people have more flexibility because they are executives, but they will not be rested for 15 days by 2030. The advice on brooching this topic should be released for the next four and a half years and I hope nothing happens while I disappear. I don’t check that email!
-Mail still works
Dear email still works.
DRAT, all vacations from here seem to be at a point where you don’t trust or without Wi -Fi. You have to wait until everything comes back, and you can’t reach in an emergency.
Then you put a message that you won’t check your email while disappearing, and guide people to someone online, turn off the emergency, turn off your cell phone, and enjoy vacation.
-Dori
Classic Prudi
I live with my best friend (32 -year -old adult). We all are all comfortable in terms of funding (honestly, I have a slightly higher salary, but there is a real loan/debt that I don’t have to worry about). Two years ago, my mother gave me wine for Month Club futures for a month, and I mixed the wine to get a pretty steep discount. Since then, I buy a month a month because the wine is actually very economical. I understand that this is a little alcohol, but in reality it is a very useful tool for maintaining alcohol intake to a certain limit. Since I started this work, my roommate has decided to drink my wine.
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